On Sunday, during Relief Society, we had the pleasure of having Tash as our 'fill-in' teacher (as Sarah was away) and she gave the most Spirit-filled lesson :)
I really enjoyed it!
Basically, it involved how people take offense, and how *most* times it isnt meant that way...and what lessons we can learn from that experience.
She was also strongly urging us to read a certain book (but I dont remember the title) as it helped illustrate how we can be better, and learn better from the situations that we find ourselves in. (Im definately going to have to ask her what the name of that book is!)
I, personally, have trouble not taking offense at what some people do, or do not do, towards me. Its something Im working on. Or maybe I shouldnt bother (?) These particular people constantly 'offend' me and it honestly doesnt seem like they're making the effort, so should I? It causes constant struggles within myself, and within our marriage, so maybe it would be easier for me to simply cut them lose than to continuously strive to overcome my feelings of negativity... and surround myself with good people who have good, pure intentions towards me...
...or maybe Im missing the point of the lesson...
Regardless, it makes me physically ill to continue to 'work' with these people and at times I feel like my health is more important than my relationship with them.
I found a wonderful quote a few weeks ago at the Chiropractors', that I thought really summed things up for me:
Never make someone a PRIORITY, when all you are to them is an OPTION ~ Maya Angelou
And that's about all I have to say about that, because I've paused for din-dins, and have now lost my train of thought... :)
Awww, sounds like a lovely lesson. We had a lesson in our ward a couple of weeks ago about reading the scriptures more often then reading other books that I felt was aimed directly at me since I'd bought 10 new books that week and already read 3 of them, lol! Hopefully I've 'learnt the lesson' there a little bit :)
ReplyDeleteI don't really struggle with taking offense, even when I know people are trying to offend me, but we all have those things that are especially hard just for us. If it helps, I've realized over the years that nine times out of ten, people mean absolutely no offense and don't even realise they've given it! So I tend to just assume I've misunderstood, and then I find it easier :) Anyway, sounds like you're working hard at it which I really admire, and Heavenly Father always helps us when we're trying our best :)
Hope you guys are all over your flu's now?!
xoxo Tammy
It sounds like a really great lesson. I would love to know the book that Tash was referring to? (Was it 'The Miracle of Forgiveness', or 'The Peacegiver'?) I'd like to read it too, if you could let me know? :) I am really sorry that things have been tough for you lately, Bec! I hope things are much better soon.
ReplyDeleteForgiving others - or not taking offence/getting really hurt, is something that I did not start out being very good at - not at all. I'm realizing more, as time goes on, both how to do it better, (lots of practice! I guess I've needed it), and also the great importance of not holding on to things - and that it is possible to 'let go' of things and be better off for it, (and that the world doesn't fall down if I get over things and move on!) (It also really bugs me that Satan is happy if I am offended/unforgiving! I don't want to be a part of encouraging his bad spirit.)
I think I used to feel that I had to hang on to things, to make sure that justice was somehow being done - That by remembering the hurt or offence, I was somehow standing witness to the wrongs of the other person?
I've come to believe that I need to trust Heavenly Father to have my back on all of that. I don't need to enforce my own kind of punishment on people because God can be trusted to be perfectly just to us all. He is the only One to perfectly have and understand all the facts in any situation. (Also - He has made it very clear that He is the only One who gets to judge. The commandment to me (over and over), is just to love others, so I am trying to do that :)
Does that make sense?
I suppose that we are all struggling with different challenges. It's probably important to understand that about each other. If we truly understood the pains, the challenges, the struggles, even just the thoughts and priorities of the people around us, I believe we would all be a lot kinder and more accepting.
'Never make someone a PRIORITY, when all you are to them is an OPTION' - I remember reading this on your Blog a little while ago, and that I thought then that it is quite a profound comment. I thought I agreed with it. But I might have changed my mind on that.. As I've thought about it more, it occurs to me that the Saviour does not follow this advice. He makes a priority (as does the Father), of all of us - even those who don't so much as have Him as an option. I am very glad that he does! :)
I'm sorry this comment is so long :S I'm thinking that your class probably had a lot of great discussion on this topic! :)
xoxo
ps Just read Tammy's comment through, and it's true! (No big surprise I hope :) Tammy really does not take offence. And she forgives almost before the offence occurs! (In fact, that's probably exactly what she does, now I think about it!) I think that Michael is the same, and so is Dad. I've spent 30 years with these people and I hope it is starting to rub off! :)
ReplyDeletepps I don't even need dinner to make me lose my train of thought, but it made me smile that you did. I can relate :)
Have a good day! :)
xoxo
Isn't Sunday the best day of the week? I love those lessons that really speak to you and help you in your quest for perfection :) But don't give up. I agree with Tammy when she said that most people don't mean any offence at all and don't even realise they've given it. A scripture that helps me is Moroni 7:45 on charity, when I'm having a hard time with something (or someone). Maybe it might help you too?! :) I'm grateful to know that we have a loving Heavenly Father who knows us completely and helps us when we ask. Hope you feel better!
ReplyDeleteSounds like it was a really lovely lesson. wish I could have heard it.
ReplyDeleteI also think that most of the time offense is completely unintended. I've realized that a lot of it just comes down to different personalities and people saying or doing things differently to how we would. So we take it differently than was meant.
You know what, I dont think i'm even making sense :P
But I'm sure I've offended lots of people in my life and I've never meant to purposely offend anyone in my life.....that I can remember... Lol jks :P
Much love Beccy! :D xo
(Hi Bec :) I thought I wrote a comment here last week.. Did it go though ok? I can't remember if I told you - I really love your Blog background :)
ReplyDeletexoxo